Over the spring/summer months in 2024, I began reaching out to artistic leaders and asking them the very vulnerable question: “think of a moment where you didn't handle conflict/harm responsibly - what would you tell yourself now?”. I had some very wonderful conversations with humans from across the industry. I used the term “artistic leaders” loosely, so not just artistic directors, but instructors, production managers, stage managers, general managers, mentors - essentially anyone who manages a group of people.
I asked those I reached out to to not be too polished, to speak from the heart, to include those “umm’s” and draft-speak, and simply offer a minute of vulnerability. Terrifying huh? But they did it!
I began gathering these moments because a big block that appears during conflict/harm reduction is the idea of a person being a “bad person” because they caused harm. It’s caused me to go down to routes: I either give up, think I’m horrible, and cry until my eyes are raisins and my cheeks grow moss (not super helpful to the other person), or I think “there’s no way I could have done that because I’m a gOoD pErsOn and therefore am incapable of harm” (which leads to gaslighting, denial, and again, not super helpful to the other person). I chose these people to reach out to because they have done so many wonderful things in their communities, so if they are capable of mistakes or causing harm, maybe the rest of us are too. Accountability is a learned skill, not a trait we’re born with. It takes work, practice, and a tonne of humility. Many of the moments they share also reflect times when they went against their own principles and values because of stress or external influence. As we move towards a more embodied understanding of leadership, discovering tactics that keep us grounded in principles, despite all that stress, is deeply important. Embodied leadership isn’t simply about taking a course, or thinking the thoughts, it’s about a deep, mental, and physical practise that allows us to continue growing and transforming into a person who can remain principled in their actions, even when trauma and stress want to veer us away.
Thank you to the wonderful people who contributed. You are doing such a great service by showing your bruises and scrapes, and it is so valued. Thank you as well to the folks I spoke with “off the record” who didn’t yet feel ready to share their stories publicly, but took the time to reflect on building accountability skills.
This piece is a companion piece to: The Art of Being a Ding Dong
Keith Barker
Keith Barker is a Métis playwright, actor, and director from Northwestern Ontario, and the current Director of the Foerster Bernstein New Play Development Program at the Stratford Festival. He is a former artistic director at Native Earth Performing Arts, and former theatre program officer for the Canada Council for the Arts.
Yolanda Bonnell
(They/She) is a Queer, 2 Spirit Ojibwe, South Asian mixed-race multi-Dora nominated storyteller/theatre maker. She has just completed her first full length young adult novel and she proudly bases her arts practice in Anishinaabe methodologies, working towards disability justice in theatre.
Jill Carter
Professor Bird Brain (a.k.a.Jill Carter ) is a mixed blood (Anishinaabe-Ashkenazi) theatre maker and educator based in Tkaron:to.
Rodney Diverlus
Rodney is an art maker and creator. They are living today for sunset picnics, and grooving to the latest Amapiano track with a balanced sativa on hand, and teeth-rotting lollipop in the other.
Sarah/SGS, VP of Programming joined the Arts Commons team in 2023. Prior to her move to Calgary, she was the Artistic Producer for the National Creation Fund (NAC). In her spare moments she continues to co-steward the historic Birchdale, direct and dramaturg for the theatre. SGS holds her Ph.D. in Cultural Studies from Queen’s University.
Aria Evans
is a queer, award winning interdisciplinary artist and intimacy professional who’s practice spans dance, theatre and film. Advocating for inclusion and the representation of diversity, Aria uses their artistic practice to question the ways we can coexist.
Sarah Garton Stanley
Sarah Garton Stanley (SGS) is a cultural strategist, creative leader, and national voice in the evolving story of Canada. She is also a theatre rat which has come in useful in a myriad of ways. She works across disciplines to spark meaningful change, champion new voices, and imagine bold futures. From theatre to think tanks, her work asks: What do we value, and how do we live it out together?
Martin Julien
Martin is an artist and instructor in Toronto. He loves working with younger people, older people, and everybody else.
Crystal Lee
Crystal Lee (she/her) is a Chinese-Canadian theatre practitioner originally from northern New Brunswick. She’s passionate about empowering new ways to collaborate in art making through technical leadership. Crystal currently works at Why Not Theatre as their Director of Production and Technical, leading many of their large-scale, international projects.
Richard Lee
Richard Lee is an Award-winning actor, fight director, sound designer and theatre educator, and theatre producer. Always grateful for challenges, Richard embraced his love of all things based in movement, sound and being bossy, which have led him on many interesting journeys.
Sean Lee
Sean is the Director of Programming at Tangled Arts + Disability, and someone who enjoys being overdressed at events.
desirée leverenz
desirée is an artist: she is a thinker and a doer. her brain dreams of ways to create art that shows how we can live together in a way that is filled with more depth, more fullness, and more spirit. she makes plays in her backyard, in theatres across Tkaronto, and at the university of toronto where she is a professor.
Sage Lovell
Sage Lovell is a Deaf multidisciplinary artist who likes to work their magic, using different art mediums to shift perspectives and spaces.
Sage’s Response:
Breathe. Take a pause. Feelings are valid. Feelings are also temporary. Acknowledge your feelings and unpack why you feel this way. Take your time. Ask for a break. Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ask for clarity. Avoid jumping to conclusions and gather facts. Remember, feelings are valid but they are not always logical. Breathe.
It's okay to be messy. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to ask for boundaries. It's okay to feel. Breathe
Jiv Parasam
Jivesh (Jiv) Parasram is a multidisciplinary theatre artist and cultural worker currently based on the unceded territories of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) nations -- also known as Vancouver, BC. He is the founding Artistic Producer of the Internationally acclaimed socio-political collective, Pandemic Theatre - and the current Artistic Director of Rumble Theatre.
Mike Payette
Born in Tiotià:ke (Montréal), Quebec, Mike has worked as a director, actor and educator for many years, and in theatres from coast to coast. As an actor, he has performed with some of the country’s finest companies like The Citadel, Vertigo Theatre, Manitoba Theatre for Young People, Banff Centre, Artistic Fraud of Newfoundland, Repercussion Theatre, Segal Centre, Centaur Theatre, The Grand, Factory Theatre, Neptune Theatre, and the National Arts Centre, among others.
Luke Reece
Luke Reece is an internationally renowned spoken word poet, a playwright, producer, director and educator. He is the Associate Artistic Director of Soulpepper Theatre, and a lover of both prehistoric and modern-day Raptors.
Jenna Rodgers
Jenna is an award winning director and dramaturg who currently spends her days worrying about Calgary’s inconsistent ability to demonstrate collective responsibility in times of crisis while trying to raise two small creative humans.
Marcel Stewart
Marcel Stewart is a father, artist, facilitator, and dope wordsmith who loves vacuuming the house while listening to the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack. He is artistic director of b current Performing Arts and one of the co-curators of FOLDA.
David Yee
david yee is a playwright and artistic director. he lives in toronto but, all things considered, would rather be in sausalito.
This campanion piece to The Art of Being a Ding Dong was compiled by Eva Barrie
